This is an interesting topic and those who know me, know that I love to teach and write about the family. Not too long ago I read an article about undoing parenting mistakes and the writer, Mark Gregston, said that he did a survey and many parents participated with some of the following comments: If I could do it over again, I would be more consistent and make my ‘no’s’ count. I would be more consistent and disciplined about chores and physical activity. . I’d have created home rules and backed them up.
I’d not worry so much about what I may be doing wrong. I have found that you can do everything ‘right’ and still make mistakes. I would not be so protective of my oldest son during high school. He never gave me reason to not let go. I was just so worried that I said ‘no’ to way too much. Now he’s in college and we rarely see him because he is finally ‘free.” I’d have created home rules and backed them up.
We would have more family time. We would spend more time talking as friends and one on one. I would’ve turned off the TV more and pursued mutual interests with my kids. I would work away from home less often. I’d play with my child more when she was little. I would have gotten used to less television and electronics (and other distractions) and more games together inside and outside.
I’d listen more and lecture less. I’d apologize more. I’d not yell as much. I would have stopped yelling and given them more respect. I wouldn’t argue with my husband in front of my children. I’d love unconditionally. I’d give more hugs and kisses (even as teens).
Well, some of us can start doing some of these things right now and escape loneliness later. The closer your relationship with your children, the better the relationship will be as adults. You may say, it’s too late, they are grown now. You can still reach out to your grandchildren and develop meaningful relationships. You can always say I’m sorry I messed up as a parent. Just that phrase is very healing. You may say “I didn’t have good parents and I don’t know how to be one.” Well, you can start learning how to be one. Start with the small things, “I love you, I respect you, God loves you, I’m sorry, let’s start over again…” Begin speaking blessings to break curses. It is never too late.
God’s love in us can transform the past, the mistakes, the ignorance, the regrets, the grief and worry. Give God your life. Decide to make some drastic and purposeful changes. The transition may not be easy (like going on a diet) but, it is possible and it is worth your while. It is a decision that will affect your present, future, and eternity.
Leave an inheritance to your family. An inheritance of love, joy, kindness, good words, good habit. An inheritance of the Word of God. It all begins with us parents. We must be healed to impart healing. Start the process now before it is too late. God bless you.
